Saturday, May 1, 2010


I apologize in advance for the vanity of this post.

For those of you with straight hair out there, this post may not make sense.

All my life I've had curly/wavy hair. As other curlies out there probably know, our hair type is not easy to control. Most of my life, I've fought it, blow dried it straight most days. On occasion, I would go curly, but the results weren't always pretty. Often the look was just "messy".

Surprisingly, one great thing came out of our 7 hour wait at the airport when we were traveling home for Christmas. I noticed a girl with beautiful curls. I asked her if they were natural. (And while I did want to know about her curls, one of my main motives was to keep her from butting in front of 1000s of people waiting in line. She was one of those people waiting up front with just "one quick question" to ask the people at the counter...we didn't want to let her have a chance). Anyway she told me about a book called Curly Girl and I purchased it soon after we came back to VA.

Ever since, I've been reading, researching and experimenting to try and figure out how to make my curls cute. Apparently I'm not alone. There are tons of resources on the internet, my favorite a website I've purchased some great curl products from Jessicurl. I've even watched videos on You Tube.

While I haven't quite reached curl perfection yet, I have learned a lot. Geting a great haircut, avoiding shampoo, brushes and terrycloth towels, plunking and sleeping on my silk pillowcase have all added to my increased like of my curly hair.

And while all of this seems a little trivial, part of me is embracing my curls for the sake of my girls. It is clear Elyse has curly hair like me. I want her to love her curly hair. But there is a bigger issue than hair here. I want her to embrace who she is, not try and fit into some beauty norm.

For this same reason, I am making a concerted effort to avoid self-deprecating talk, especially in front of my girls. To fit in, I think many of us chicas insist on putting ourselves down. I think it is mostly related to our insecurities; we want to fit into society's picture of what a woman should look like.

I do not want my girls to grow up thinking, "I'm so fat" or "Look at my ugly feet" or "I wish I had legs like blank" statements to be normal. I do not want them to look at their appearances and search out the imperfections. And while I doubt I can prevent all these influences from coming their way, I am doing my best to be a good example for them in this light.

So for now, that means avoiding negative talk about myself (at least when little ears are around) and embracing my naturally wavy, curly wild hair. :)


Rachael said...

While it is true that I can't relate to issues about curls (since I was always jealous of the girls who had them, and still am:), I am with you on trying to model self acceptance for my girls. I started to talk to Tim about something I don't like about myself, but stopped mid-sentence before Delaney could figure out what I was talking about. I would HATE for her to end up with the same hangups as me, and she absorbs and repeats everything I say.

Brandi K said...

You are gorgeous-as always. I love the curls!